blog archives

23rd Dec 2011, 12:23 PM



There are times when I’m falling asleep, or trying to, when I close my eyes and feel as if I’m more aware of myself. I feel myself become bigger – not my physical self, that doesn’t change as far as I can tell – it’s like a different element of myself, ballooning and expanding with my breath. Yet, at the same time, I feel myself shrinking. I exist in this state of duality  (well more than that really, because along with the small and the large, I’m also aware of my physical and mental self. So…quadality?) Where I can feel myself expanding and shrinking at the same time. My expanded self has this sense of hovering and drifting along, whereas the shrinking self has a sense of falling, of drifting down. I have this feeling of becoming so big and expansive, but at the exact same time, of shrinking and falling into the abyss of the expansive self. I flex certain muscles to bring myself back to the physical world, but if I keep my eyes closed and flex, I now exist in both these states - the imagined and the physical - where I can feel my physical body, but can also feel my imagined body in both the expanded and shrinking forms. Oddly enough, this whole experience has a calming effect.

10th Nov 2011, 10:58 AM


The Cinnamon Peeler

So I'm reading Michael Ondaatje's book Running in the Family for my english course this semester and one of his poems really stuck out to me so I wanted to post it here so that those of you who haven't read it can see it. I really like it.

The Cinnamon Peeler

If I were a cinnamon peeler
I would ride your bed
and leave the yellow bark dust
on your pillow.

Your breasts and shoulders would reek
you could never walk through markets
without the profession of my fingers
floating over you. The blind would
stumble certain of whom they approached
though you might bathe
under rain gutters, monsoon.

Here on the upper thigh
at this smooth pasture
neighbour to your hair
or the crease
that cuts your back. this ankle.
you will be known among strangers
as the cinnamon peelere's wife.

I could hardly glance at you
before marriage
never touch you
- your keen nosed mother, your rough brothers.
I buried my hands
in saffron, disguised them
over smoking tar,
helped the honey gatherers...


When we swam once
I touched you in water
and our bodies remained free,
you could hold me and be blind of smell.
You climbed the bank and said

       This is how you touch other women
the grass cutter's wife, the lime burner's daughter.
And you searched your arms
for the missing perfume
                                             and knew

                                    what good is it
to be the lime burner's daughter
left with no trace
as if not spoken to in the act of love
as if wounded without the pleasure of a scar.

you touched
your belly to my hands
in the dry air and said
I am the cinnamon
peeler's wife. Smell me.

Michael Ondaatje "The Cinnamon Peeler"

18th Aug 2011, 8:26 AM


A bit random...

So kinda random thing happened the other day, not a big deal but it was funny at the time...

OK, so I'm moving into toronto at the end of the month, but for all of August I've been staying at my ex boyfriend, Matt's, place. I know it seems weird, but we had a clean break up and were only together for like a month so its actually working out really well. Its mainly cuz I'm working at a coffee shop at college and university and am sometimes scheduled to start work as early as 5am. Matt lives close to bathurst and bloor so its way easier for me to get to work at like 5am from his place than from my mom's place (all the way up in richmond hill, which may as well be the middle of bum fuck nowhere for all I care). Its just a temporary situation until I move into my new place (just south of ossington station). So yeah - main thing you need to know, Matt and I are on great terms - doing well as friends, and actually getting along very well (which is hilarious to me because we're pretty much living in one bedroom together).


so Matt's room is in the basement of a house that's rented out to a shit ton of other people. in the basement there are 4 bedrooms, a bathroom, a washer & dryer, and a fridge. When Matt moved into this place there was this phillipino guy named Boom who lived in the room beside the fridge. the other night I went to the fridge around 11pm to get a snack and stood there for a few minutes unwrapping the packaging. Boom's door opened and an older man (around 50 I guess) steps out, wearing nothing but boxer shorts. I'd never seen this guy before and was a little surprised. As I thought "Oh. uhm. I guess that's what does it for Boom..." I said "Sorry, hope I wasn't being too loud...". The older guy said "Oh no problem. I'm _______ by the way," (I don't remember his name) " I'm going to be here for a few weeks." "Ok," I thought "I guess its getting serious between boom and this guy..." but said "Oh, Hi, I'm Serena and I'm staying in that room over there" Pointing to matt's room.

He went back to his room, I went back to Matt's room. Matt was sitting at his computer.
"So. uhm." I Started, to get matt's attention, "some old guy just came out of Boom's room...?"
"...Boom moved out..." Matt responded, looking at me quizzically, as if to say "Why don't you know this?".
"OH" I said "Ok...that makes a lot more sense to me...I mean different strokes for different folks guy's old enough to be Boom's dad, I think".

so yeah, that was a bit of a surprise.


26th Jul 2011, 5:57 AM


The Problem with Real Estate Agents...

I don't like to generalize a huge group of people, and I don't assume that just because certain people belong to a certain group that they hold certain characteristics or behaviours, but there is something I've noticed about many Real Estate agents in my time as a receptionist at a real estate company.

Many of the Real Estate Agents I met were very nice people, hardworking and very friendly. They were people oriented, responsible and very smart - being a real estate agent was perfect for them as they were essentially their own bosses, were part of a customer service based industry and were handling large amounts of capitol. These same elements of the real estate industry is what appealed to many other Real Estate Agents who did not hold all qualities that I previously listed...They liked the idea of being their own boss so they could essentially do what they want and not be stuck in a routine, and they liked that they have the potential to make lots of money, and they seem to like interacting with people...however, because it's not the hardest thing in the world to become a real estate agent, this latter group are making the industry very hard to work in for other people who are more responsible and hard working (I'm not saying they're lazy and stupid, just that they aren't as hard working or responsible...and sometimes they don't use common sense...).

so here is a funny anecdote I have from my time as a real estate receptionist:

Being a real estate office, we handle the monetary transactions that occur when property is bought and sold - which includes the commission cheques for the real estate agents involved in the transaction. Usually when an office has a commision cheque for an agent that does not work in their office, they mail the cheque to the office that the agent works in. However, During the mail strike my office was unable to mail anything, so we told the agents that we had cheques for to come and pick up their cheque at our office. I have two funny stories about what this situation caused:

1. Idiots: This one real estate agent had to come to our office to pick up her commission cheque - to give you some info about her she was a young asian lady (maybe a few years older than me at most) well dressed with a canadian accent. Anyways: one night when I was working in the office, I get a call from her asking where our office is. I say "Oh, we're inside Hillcrest Mall, at the intersection of Yonge and 16th avenue."
"yeah, I'm at that intersection," she says "where's the mall?"
Now, if you've ever been to Hillcrest mall, you know its fairly big and hard to miss if you're at the intersection of Yonge and 16th ave. If you've never been to Hillcrest mall,  I'll let you know that its a big mall and if you're at any intersection surrounding it, it's hard to miss.
"The Mall is on the North-West corner of the Yonge and 16th avenue" I say, confused as to why she needs me to specify.
"Oh, you mean where the Future shop is?" she asks.
There is a Future shop at the intersection of yonge and 16th, but its in a Plaza that is right across the street from HillCrest Mall.
"No, the mall is across the street from the plaza" I clarify.
"Oh, where the scotia bank is?" she asks.
The scotia bank is inside the plaza where the Future shop is, across the street from Hillcrest mall.
"No. The Mall is across the street from the plaza." I say, getting annoyed.
"Oh, ok...wait, is it the bay?" she asks.
"Yes! The Bay is inside the mall! the big building with the Bay inside of it is Hillcrest Mall!" I say, perplexed as to how she can't recognize a mall that's sitting right in front of her. I then give her directions on how to get to my office. I tell her to go up the stairway or the elevator to the upper level (they're right beside each other and this is the only way to get to the second level of the mall) and the office will be the first thing she sees on her left - the name of our company is written in big letters right above our door. she says she'll see me soon.
"Great" I reply, excited to meet this curious character.

five minutes later, I see a young woman run past my office. Because my office is near the bathroom, I don't question why she is running.

two minutes later the woman who ran by comes back, and walks into my office looking very confused. I notice that she looks at the sign above the office door which clearly states our company's name before coming in, as if the strange markings perplex her.

She asks if this is my company's office, I assure her it is. she explains that she is a real estate agent from another office, here to pick up a commision cheque. I explain to her that I need to see some form of ID, even if its just a business card, before I can give her the cheque. She says that she doesn't have any form of ID on her, that she only brought her car keys and her phone with her. This has me taken aback - This woman has come to an office that she's never been to before, to pick up a cheque that is probably for at least $400, and it didn't occur to her that she would need to prove that the cheque was for her, that she needed some form of ID...sigh...

I won't bore you with the details but I manage to prove that the cheque is for her, and am able to sign it over to her. During this process, My cell phone which was sitting on the desk started to vibrate, I ignored it as I didn't want to be reading text messages in front of her. She at me at the sound of the vibrating phone and asked me "Was that my phone or yours?"

her phone was in her hand.

the other result of the Mail Strike was lazy agents.

While working at the office one afternoon I got a call from a real estate agent from another office who said that we had a comission cheque for her. I confirmed this and she asked how we were going to give it to her.  I informed  her that because the postal service was on strike we wouldn't be mailing it to her office as we usually do, but that she would have to come to our office to pick it up. She said that she lived in Toronto (Our office is located in Richmond Hill) and her office was located in Toronto as well and started to complain about how much it would cost her to drive up to our office. "What, so I'm supposed to drive all the way to your office, then all the way back to my office?" she said quite bluntly at one point. Let me clarify again: Commision cheques for real estate agents are rarely made out for less than $100. She asked me how much it would cost her in gas. I responded that since I don't have a car, I don't know how much it would cost. She said she estimated it would cost about five or ten dollars. As she continued to talk and complain, she made it clear that she felt it was a great inconvenience for her to pay for her own gas and drive ALLLLL the way up to Richmond Hill from Toronto to pick up her cheque (which again, would be for at least $100). She asked me if there were any other way for us to get the cheque to her. I told her that we could put it in the mail, but the cheque would probably expire before it got to her. She repeatedly asked me, without listening to my replies, to try to find some other way to have the cheque sent to her. Finally I said "ok, I'll ask my boss" and ended the conversation that was causing me increasing bewilderment at her attitude. the next time I saw my boss I brought up the phone call and asked him if there was anything to be done. He asked who the agent was and I told him her name. He immediately and very firmly said "NO! She causes us too much problem!" which satisfied me just fine.

so, if you want to be a real estate agent, this is a heads up as to what your "competition" will be...

26th Jul 2011, 5:29 AM


What's going on

OK folks, deep apologies for the late and lackluster comics of late. I'm kind of going through a crazy time and having trouble focusing on my creative projects.

I got a new job at a very well known coffee and espresso shop in toronto inside the Toronto General Hospital and really really like it there. I was hesitant to go back to working for a large corporation, but they actually treat their employees really really well (paying above minimum wage, good hours, flexible scheduling, discounts, opportunities to take home various products for ridiculously cheap) and everyone at the particular store I work at is very very friendly and supportive - I've only been there like a week, but I've really come to love working there.

Being a receptionist was a cushy job - sitting in a comfy office chair for 5 hour intervals, answering the phone and other small tasks - but it got boring fast, and I find boredom insufferable. there were lots of annoying but humourous situations, which i plan to write about later on. most of all, I missed interacting with people the way I did when I used to work at coffee shops and espresso bars. In the office, I was usually alone and if someone came into the office it was usually a real estate agent who either came in to work, to meet with their clients, or they were really, really creepy. I missed having regular customers who I could chat with a little bit, like I had at my previous jobs. Also, my office is located inside a mall and I HATE MALLS. I am so sick of the top 40 hits playing on a loop and hearing little brats have tantrums. the worst part was my office was between the elevator and staircaise to the upper level of the mall and the bathroom, so people were constantly walking by. if they weren't loud and incredibly disruptful (80% of my job was talking over the phone and often I couldn't hear anything because of obnoxious people outside my office who didn't have the common sense to be quiet when right outside of an office) they were just annoying - as they walked by they would peer into the open doorway my boss insists on and stare at me like I was some sort of circus attraction. also, malls make me feel like I'm claustrophobic [even though I'm fine with small spaces] - I don't do well with crowds, loud people, annoying music, and recycled air.

Also, I just helped my new boyfriend move from keele and steeles to bathurst and bloor - such a nicer area to live! I'm looking for an apartment in the same area because it's super convenient. 10 minute subway ride from where I work, a short walk to many great restaurants, grocery stores, pubs, parks, book stores and one of my favourite places to get frozen yogurt. Also, I'm hoping to go to U of T for grad school so living in the Annex would be great.

the new boyfriend and I are going to Montreal for a few days this upcoming week, to hopefully see Tim Minchin perform live! we weren't able to get tickets ahead of time, but we're still going to try. Tim Minchin is one of my favourite entertainers out there and if you've never seen his performances, you should check him out (plenty of videos on youtube) because he's hilarious and very talented!

so hopefully I'll have moved to a nice little starter-apartment in toronto by september (as long as I have my own bedroom, I'm not too picky about anything else). I will try to kick my ass into gear about producing better comics and keeping to my deadline, but things may be crazy for me for the next few weeks.

Just thought I'd write another blog, since people might actually be reading them, and let you know what's going on with me, since if you're looking through my website, you probably care lol.