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24th Aug 2009, 5:09 AM


I had a Dream...

hey you :)

so I'd rather not get into the specifics of this webcomic, but i think it's sufficient to say that it's based on this dream i had a bit ago. i've never actually done that in real life and i don't really plan to either.

enough of that then.

so the other day while i at work i was taking my break and sat down to eat my dinner and read. i happened to sit close to one of the televisions that's mounted on the wall and is stuck of CP24 all day. at some point during my break i randomly looked up and saw this commercial for cancer. ok, that sounds wrong - but you know what i mean, it was the commercial with all these people holding up cards saying stuff like "i was given months to live, 4 years ago" or "cancer took my leg but not my life", etc. anyways, i was watching this (i was plugged into my ipod so i missed out on the soundtrack) and suddenly noticed that i was about to get teary eyed. i immediately dove back into my book (the taqwacores by micheal muhammad knight, quite amazing) and shuffled through my playlist to find something distracting. but i was distracted nevertheless. i started to wonder why a fucking commercial about fighting cancer had affected me, then i realized - because i've lost so many people to cancer. aduhr. first my step father's dad Chaim. then my father's dad Bruce, then my dad's step father Albie. my mom's had a number of pre-cancerous cells removed and almost a year ago i had my own little cancer scare (i have a lump on my forarm the size of a skittle that turned out to not be dangerous at all). I wasn't really upset when my grandfathers died from cancer, even though I should've been. they were all relatively young (under the age of 80) and i didn't know any of them as well as i should've. I didn't go to see any of them before they died for various reasons, but mainly because I didn't want to see them in that condition, i wanted to keep them alive in my memory as "young" and healthy...i didn't want to see them in their deteriorated state. i was only really able to explain this to my mother in any of the situations. I only cried over one of them, Bruce. He's the only blood-related grandfather of mine that i have any memories of (my mother's father died when i was a toddler)  and I barely knew the guy. I actually instinctively refer to him as "Bruce" rather than "Granpa" for the fact that his relationship with me never really felt like a grandfather's to me...not that i would know what that's supposed to feel like. we shared a few conversations and i have a christmas gift from him (a book on Beatrix potter, although he hadn't known that she was my favourite author as a child) but I don't really know him.

I think the main reason why I cried at his funeral was because i was suddenly being thrown into this situation that I wasn't ready for - his death was pretty sudden (the weekend i was supposed to come up to visit him (for the last time) was the weekend that his funeral was held). it was the first time i'd ever been to a non-jewish funeral and I had no idea how things worked there - i was surrounded by all these people i was supposed to know, that i was related to and supposedly had ties to, and didn't even recognize most of them. all these people were saying these great things about this man that I come from, and i wasn't able to call bullshit on them. I couldn't tell if they were saying all these great things about him because it was his funeral or because they were true. also, for lack of a better option, i was stuck wearing a pair of vibrant pink pantyhose amongst all my black attire. it was frustrating to say the least. I was actually suprised that I was the days leading up to the funeral i was expected to be one of the only people with dry eyes and to be feeling guilty about it later, i felt like i was being expected to drudge up all these feelings for a man i didn't know and that i wouldn't be able to and that people would be offended. then, there i was, balling my eyes out in a fucking church. even on the car ride to the cemetary i was struggling to control myself. I was grateful that my dad, his girlfriend and my brother weren't drawing any attention to it. after a bit the emotions died down and i was able to reflect on things. I'm still not that upset by my grandfather's death, but a part of me does wish i'd known him better in life. another part of me simply says: that's what people do, they die...especially older sick ones.

so after these thoughts on death from cancer, and the many people in my life who've been touched by cancer, i wonder why smoking isn't a bigger deal to me. when people point out "oh you shouldn't eat/smoke/use/etc. that, it causes cancer" i usually reply with "yeah, apparently everything does".
my mother's mother's boyfriend is dying of cancer, after a life of chain smoking, yet I still smoke the herbal cigarettes that i've been craving since i was 15 years old. (only during the summer and barely at that, one pack will last me at least a month - but still...) I don't get pissy with my dad when i find cigarettes at his apartment, or when his girlfriend and their friends light up in front of me. even when people tell me they smoke i don't get all preachy on their asses about how bad it is for your health (especially since that'd make me a hypocrite). and i honestly wonder why do i not find smoking such a big deal? when i find out someone has cancer why is my response usually in the area of "ah shit"? the only explaination i can come up with is that life is "short" (compared to other things) and we all die eventually...cancer is just one of the ways to go out and if you're going to die anyways, why not allow yourself simple pleasures you enjoy, like smoking a cigarette every now and then? I'm still grateful for all the medical advances in the fight against cancer, but i still don't get that upset about it. i wonder if i'm so detached from it just because no one i'm very close to has died from cancer, that people have survived battles with cancer before so it's not always a death sentence or if it's because I'm a cold hearted bitch. I'm kinda thinking it's the first two. either way, death is still a big scary unknown mind-fuck that i haven't the energy to try to tackle just yet.

on a brighter note, i'm going to be attending Fanexpo this year on Saturday August 29th. because my crazy-goth boots are just collecting dust in my closet, i've decided to pull them out along with my neglected corset to wear at the Fanexpo. I rarely get the chance to wear that sort of garb and not feel like a freak, so i'm taking my chance and will be decking out in my crazy clothes next weekend.i'm hoping to get lots of pictures with cool people.


17th Aug 2009, 6:53 PM


try it, it's fun

Hey y'all, so i guess I should explain some of the webcomic i've posted today...

sometimes when things are getting too romantic for my liking, or a guy's trying to get into my pants and i'm not exactly excited at the idea, i try to break "the mood"...or at least interrupt it. one of my facourite ways to do this is to declare that i have a wedgie, and depending on the situation, to give a mini-monologue trying to describe the wedgie. it's fun.

try this sometime with someone, doesn't matter what the situation is (although in the middle of a break up or marriage proposal might not be too appropriate) and you'll learn a lot about  that person by how they respond. funniest response i ever got was this super-horny guy who was quite relentless who decided to respond with "let me fish it out for you" as he moved his hand over my ass. of course i slapped it away, and told him to fuck off, but i still thought it was funny.

on another note, i saw district 9 last night, and fucking loved it. definately one of the best movies of the summer. could've gone without seeing the guy's fingernails falling off, but it was worth it.

so remember: when things are getting to serious for you, or too-not-what-you-like, just start talking about a wedgie you might or might not have. give it a try, it can be fun.

now i've got to fuck off to work and try not to die of boredom

p.s. i do hope you all are reading the ALT-texts of my comics...if you haven't, you should: just hover hold your mouse over the comic for a little while and a little bit of text should show up

10th Aug 2009, 5:35 AM


Birds do it, Bees do it...

Whenever i Hear that "let's do it" song from Cole Porter (yay for the Tank Girl movie) i always imagine that he was forced to make the song about love instead of sex. we can all dream, can't we?

you may be noticing a common theme with the comic and this blog. Sex. yay SEX!

No, i'm not a nymphomaniac. No, I'm not a sex least I highly doubt it. I just enjoy one of the most enjoyable things in the world. so sue me. No, I'm not going to rant about how unfair it is that girls are often referred to as sluts and whores whereas guys are referred to as playas and studs...god knows there's enough people doing that.

I personally don't believe there's anything wrong with having a beneficial friend (usually referred to as a fuck buddy *rolls eyes) or being in an open relationship. as long as no one's getting hurt and you're doing what's true to how you feel, go to it! of course, i hate it when people midlead others and aren't honest with what it is that they really want, but that's how things go sometimes. oh well.

so from my point of view: yay for homosexuality! yay for open relationships! yay for fuck-buddies! yay for experimenting! yay for what-ever-it-is-that-you-do-that-you-enjoy! (of course I don't promote beastiality, pedofilia, or incest...ew)

we're only on this planet for so long, why not enjoy our time here? we can't be certain what lies in store for us after death, so why not fill our lives with what makes us happy? whether it be religion, friends, family, money, etc.

but before you get the wrong idea, or to fix whatever impression you've gotten from this let me state this: balance is key. in all areas of life i believe that the key to happiness and harmony or whatever you want to label it, is balance. everything in moderation. there's so much out there for us to grab onto, we can't hold it all at once. I feel that the best thing anyone can strive for in life is balance/harmony between everything. So as much as I enjoy sex, I don't fill all my days with carnal pleasures, i balance them out with fun with friends, work, study and family. devoting only bits of my time to the pleasures of the flesh instead of all my time to it makes it that much more fun and special when I do get to "it".

there's always such thing as too much of anything

ok, late night ranting session done.


3rd Aug 2009, 7:24 AM


Harreh Pottah

Yay, Update!

so i've been drawing and thinking up comic strips like crazy these last few days, doing all i can to keep myself from updating every night and burning through my stash. i finally decided to give in and update "tonight", but couldn't decide which strip to update first. I decided on my Harry Potter one because I wanted to update it while it was still relevant...instead of updating it in a few weeks/months when no one's thinking about the movie anymore.

so at the coffee shop i work at today a regular customer i haven't seen in a while came and we started talking and he asked me if i had finished my book yet. not knowing whether he was talking about the book i was reading or the book i'm writing, i said "which one?" and he clarified that he was asking about the book i was writing and i told him I haven't finished it yet, that I've started other projects. "ah, a procrastinator are we?" to which i replied "no, just getting some excess stuff outta my head so i can focus more on the book, i guess" so he asked what kind of project and amongst many others i mentioned the webcomic. he didn't know what it was. cuz, yknow, he's like 40-something and obviously that's too juvenile for him. so I explained to which his reply was "oh...well...have fun with your little comic...don't rip of Archie!" to which I replied "oh, no worries there, mine's going to have much more nudity than Archie". he gave me a big tip.

and yes, don't worry, nudity shall be delivered in time. good things come to those who wait...or have the balls to bug me enough until i give in a draw more boobs. and maybe a penis. we'll see.

it's  2:30 am and i should prolly get to sleep, or to drawing. farewell interweb!


30th Jul 2009, 5:36 AM


July 30th, Repitition with a difference

hey again.

so i've just uploaded my first actual strip for the comic and it should be showing up soonish. so excited. drawing this one out did make me realize that i need to get some art supplies. a handful of crayons, markers and a pencil with a stub of an eraser just won't do. still, i think for  a beginner that i'm doing alright.

i've started drawing out/outlining quite a few webcomics today but i think i'll only update once or twice a week. i know there'll be times when i'm too busy to draw up something new and i think it'll be good for me to have some back ups just in case. we'll see how fast the ideas come in. almost finished the final touches of the next strip already. having two comments on the first update was a great confidence boost. whoo hoo!

will write more later, but i gots shit to do. like twitter. i know, i'm ashamed of myself.

i doubt that my comic will have much "deep" moments, but when they happen i should let them shine through the inevitable dirty jokes and silliness.