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13th May 2011, 10:20 PM

Feeny

Just Wondering...

Has anyone else noticed how talking tapers off after sexual activity? and I'm not just talking about the wham-bam-thank-ya-m'am kind where talking afterwards isn't expected anyways.

When dating someone, the first couple dates (or however long until you finally cut to the chase) are usually spent talking, getting to know one another in some way. You try to talk about all sorts of things; family, friends, school, work, religion, personal goals, pets, travel, etc. You get comfortable with each other, or at least create the illusion that you're comfortable with each other.

Then you have sex, or fool around, or participate in some sort of sexual activity.

And suddenly, talking isn't the same anymore. I've found that the more you talk before you engage in sexual activity, the easier it is to go back to that level of communication, and even gives you the chance to rise above to a higher level of communication - But it isn't the same as it was before. However, when you don't talk much before doing the deed, the harder or less like it is that you'll talk afterwards, especially the way you talked before. Its not impossible for you to stay in communication with this person, or to have a relationship with them afterwards, I'm just saying it's not as likely, in my opinion.

Now what I'm wondering, from this observation, is it just because we're no longer trying to impress the person in question, and therefore don't bother wooing them with our words? or is it because we've reach a new level of being comfortable with them that talking constantly isn't necessary and we don't need to babble like we did before to fill the silence.

Does conversation die down because its no longer required? or because one of or both of the involved parties can't be bothered? And Why is it different than before?

This is where feelings get involved, I would speculate: If you had feelings for the person before the sexual encounter and the feelings remain afterwards, how does that affect your continued communication with them; do you keep talking with that person because you want to continue to impress them, or because you just like talking to them, or do you not put as much effort into conversation as you did before because what's the point? you already know they return your feelings so you just settle down into this comfortable state.

If you didn't have feelings for the person before the sexual encounter, and continue to not have feelings for them afterwards, do you bother to keep up their impression of you? or do you not bother talking to them because what's the point? you got what you wanted and now settle down into this state that is comfortable for you.

There are lots of other variations - like if you didnt have feelings before, but afterwards you did. Or you did before but then afterwards you didn't. Or if you can't tell and you're totally confused - which all lead to the scenario: do you want to keep talking to them, and why? and does it ever go back to that level of communication that you had before? if so, is it better or worse?

To break it down further, it depends on personality. For example: If a person had low self esteem, they're more likely to try to keep up other people's impressions of them. If a person had high self esteem, they are more likely to not care what another person feels about them. However, there are a variety of different personality variables that would affect how a person treats their sexual partnet after sexual activity, so it gets kind of messy to figure out why they do what they do after they've done what they did.

So the question remains: Why does sex change the way you communicate? Why does the way you talk to someone after sex differ from the way you talked to them before sex? is it because something has been lost between the two of just as something else has been gained? is that it? the dynamics between the two of you have changed so now the conversation changes too, no matter how you try to act as though what happened wasn't a big deal.

The way communication changes after sexual activity isn't always bad, but it is usually different (at least from what i've experienced).

you can email me your thoughts, opinions, etc at yourfavouritefeeny@hotmail.com

15th Apr 2011, 11:58 PM

Feeny

I hope people read this

OK, so you probably noticed the lack of new comics this week, and especially the lack of comics being posted on time. I am experiencing technical difficulties.

My laptop has put up with a lot of abuse (being dropped, having stuff spilled on it, being hit, and such) and is once again showing signs of it. At first it was just slow and would freeze a few times a day, then it wouldn't let me open photo shop. Then it wouldn't let me open iTunes. Then it said that there was no audio. Then it wouldn't play any video or flash. It would freeze every few minutes and would take FOREVER (think of dial-up speed) to load a webpage. Now it won't open a web browser, let me chat on msn or even connect to the internet. In the eyes of a university Student, this laptop is USELESS.

I seeked help from the top experts I could find (my boyfriend, my ex-boyfriend, and a guy who reads the webcomic) the general thought is that it's a hardware problem, in retaliation to all the abuse. The Boyfriend lent me his spare laptop to use until I get this sorted and the Ex Boyfriend offered to put his spare hard-drive into the broken laptop to see if that makes a difference - in which case I'd only have to buy a new hard drive, not a new laptop (which is what I'm considering since I go through this almost every 6 months).

Now, what does this mean for the webcomic, and for you? Well it means hand-drawn comics for a little while until I can get my shit sorted. And most likely the comics will be a bit sloppy (just trying to be realistic guys) because the laptop the Boyfriend lent me has linux and I'm too frustrated with technology to bother to learn how to do anything on it other than use the internet.

Hopefully, shit will be sorted soon and I can go back to using photoshop for comics since I really enjoyed making that last comic.

I will post a comic this upcoming Tuesday, however I'm not sure if I'll be posting more than one to make up for not posting one this week.

Please bear with me as I go through this Difficult time.

1st Feb 2011, 7:13 AM

Feeny

I don't expect you to read all of this

I’m walking home and thinking of my twin brother. My mom is worried that he’s going to kill himself. I don’t really think he would do such a thing, but I keep thinking about how terrible it would be if I were wrong. What if he really did? What if my twin killed himself? I don’t know how I feel about this, I really don’t. When my Mom first came to talk to me about it I just chalked it up to her usual hysterical attitude, but it made me realize how little I know my brother now.

I mean, he’s just always been There. It’s not like with other siblings where you pass each other by in different times of your life, where they could teach you something about an experience you haven’t had yet. With other types of siblings, they can teach you techniques to trick your parents, or what to do when you’re alone with a boy. A twin is just There. You go through life at the same pace, each meeting similar obstacles at the similar times. Even with a fraternal twin like mine, He wasn’t able to teach me much. I already knew that boys were ridiculous, He proved it. He didn’t let me in on some big secret to the brother hood of boys; give me an advantage above other girls. At least, I don’t think so. I don’t think we had a special bond either. Not in a twin way, or even a sibling way.

It feels like we’ve spent most of our lives trying to get away from each other, at least I sure have. My father always said that I am a single child, who happened to have a brother born on the same day as me; I’ve always been an independent person. My brother, he’d say, is a twin through and through. Throughout our childhood, we couldn’t escape from each other. We went to a small school where everybody knew each other. I was always “N’s Sister” and he was always “Serena’s Brother”. Even when our family moved, our friends would usually be shared between us. It drove me nuts. He drove me nuts. And we always seemed to be part of the same group, even if one of us tried to expand our horizons; we’d be sucked back in, like binary stars in rotation. Most of my memories up to the age of 16, involve my brother:  A mutual friend flirting with me while my brother watched TV beside us, Birthday parties that we shared, having to sleep in his bed while he had the chicken pox, and I still didn’t get it. Even Birthday cheques from our Aunt Chucky (to Nathaniel and Serena, to the payment of $25). We had to share everything. Our first job was delivering papers – together. Its cold out and the tips of my ears are starting to freeze. I shove my hands into my pockets and pick up my pace.

He was always there. Family trips, playground games, sleep over parties, birthday parties, we even shared our religious initiation into adulthood – our mom had us have a b’nai mitzvah whereas other kids had the entire spectacle to themselves. I was late to my pre-prom party because my mom had to drive my brother to his and we only had one car. Even in high school where it was big enough for me to avoid him the whole day after getting off the bus, it would still catch up to me: “Aren’t you N’s Sister?” and I would begrudgingly say yes. What else could I say? The time I tried to say “No, I’m Serena” they got confused. It’s normal for twins who grow up together to try to separate themselves as much as possible, assert their independence from their sibling. That’s why you will often see sets of identical twins who dress and behave as opposite as they can from their sibling. But with my brother and I, it felt like a see-saw. If I did well in school, he did poorly (and vice versa). If he had a great job, I had either a shitty one or none at all. When I moved out of our home and went to university, he stayed at home and played the drums in the basement. I turn right down a side street; a new song starts on my personal music player.

Sure we don’t hate each other, but like anyone else you randomly get stuck with for life, we fought. The more we saw each other, the more we fought. When I was living in dorm my brother and I barely fought when I came home to visit. A car whizzes by me and I realize that it was less than a foot away from me. What if I had accidentally stumbled or reached my arm out at the last minute?

And now my mom is worried about my brother killing himself. He’s been going through a tough time, escalated by the death of a friend. My mom worries that with his recent behaviour he might attempt suicide. I’ve barely been home the last three years, and when I am I am self-centered and only noticed things that have changed. I don’t think my brother would commit suicide, at least I don’t think so. My mom asked me to go down to the basement – N’s Territory – and see if there’s anything he could hurt himself with. “I don’t know what to look for” she says “things have changed since I was your age; I don’t think I’d notice the same things as you”. I agree but think what the hell would I be able to find? I barely go down there. I mistakenly tell her “y’know, if someone really wanted to, they’d find a way”.

But, Seriously, What would happen if my brother killed himself? Would I even cry? I don’t know. I remember crying when my guinea pig died, but being fine an hour later. I wasn’t upset when I found out my Grandfather had died – I only saw the man three times in my whole life - yet I broke down crying at his funeral, not even knowing why I was crying. I don’t see myself crying if N died, but It’d feel wrong not to. My mother would definitely cry, it would devastate her. Would she go nuts? Would she keep his room a shrine to her lost boy, messy floor and all? Would she refuse to talk about him, shutting down? Would she become depressed, as is rumoured to run in her side of the family? As I walk the sleek black street my mind races through these scenarios. My brother’s room would clearly go to my little brother, now six years old. Would he sleep there though? He always falls asleep on the couch, like its his personal safety blanket. I would claim my brother’s Xbox—As soon as I think this I mentally slap myself at the thought: you can’t think like that.

I meant he pretty much ran away from home yesterday – yelling at our mom and storming out the door. “I don’t need you, I don’t need my drum set, I don’t need this”. My mom had, in a moment of anger, told my brother that maybe he should go live with our father. I later explained to her why we hate it when she says that, feeling like the remains of her marriage to my father, now that she has a second husband and 2 other children. I rarely feel resentment towards the new additions to our family, but I know my brother has difficulty with it. My Mom was a nervous wreck all night, asking me – again – if I thought N would kill himself. I honestly didn’t know – we weren’t thrown together like we used to be. I rarely saw him and when we did we usually ended up arguing. I don’t know who his friends are anymore; I don’t know where he would go. Today my father told me N had contacted him, a surprise since he hasn’t willingly talked to my father in three months. I have continued to go to work, talk with my boyfriend, read my school books, but I keep feeling a tugging, like I shouldn’t be continuing on as usual. Now that I’ve written it out, I’ve realized my brother and I do have a bond. It’s been there all along, I just never really noticed it because it’s always been there. Other siblings have it develop and grow, but not twins. It’s hard to really see something that’s been there your whole life. I usually just brushed off stories my mom had told me - how when my brother and I were toddlers my parents would seperate us, me in a room with dad and N in a room with mom. She told me Dad would tickle me, and N would laugh, and vice versa. When my brother and I were 10 my brother went to Hawaii with our Grandmother and at night my mom would hear me shouting at my brother in my sleep. "You were sleep-fighting with your brother" she told me. It feels weird not to have him home, to have him ignoring my calls and text messages. He's always been there.

What would I do at the funeral? What would I say as his friends came up to tell me that I have their sympathy? Would I cry? Would I sadly say “thank you” and wait for it to be over?  Would I just keep going to work, or would I have to take a whole week off to sit Shiva? Would my mom demand we do that? What could I do if she did want to sit Shiva?  If nothing else, I would be pissed at my brother if he killed himself for leaving such a mess behind – for leaving me. I turned right onto my street, thinking about my brother. Thinking about me in regards to my brother.

4th Jan 2011, 6:41 AM

Feeny

Changes...

Hey Folks, I know that this week's comic is overdue, and I'm sorry. I plan to put it up on tuesday afternoon or wednesday morning at the latest. I decided to draw this comic out by hand instead of msn-painting-it and I didn't realize my shoulder isn't quite up to the task, so I had to keep taking breaks. Hopefully my shoulder will be closer to normal soon.

I'm starting a course at York this week, I'm only going to be there two days a week but I've decided to switch the comic posting day: I will now be posting a comic every Tuesday instead of every Sunday.

3rd Dec 2010, 5:46 PM

Feeny

For You

Hey Guys, Sorry there's been a sever lack of blogs in the past...forever...I've been busy and didn't really think people read these.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Here's the scoop on what's going on with me!

The Boyfriend and I are still broken up, its been about a month an a half now. I went on a few dates after the break up, but nothing really special UNTIL (Duhn duhn DUNNNNNN) THE NEW BOYFRIEND came along. He'll be appearing in the comic soon enough, but I figured I might as well tell you about him now. So him and I have been friends for a little while and when I broke up with the last Boyfriend I had no idea he was interested in me as more than a friend...then it became pretty damn obvious when he asked me out. We had a really awesome first date and then have been hanging out a lot since then - my little brother and sister went nuts over him. We've been going out for about a month now and I bet he'll be in the comic at least a few times. So that's what you need to know about that...oh, and if you're taking someone special out and want to have a fun time, check out snakes and latte's on bloor street. it's this cute as all hell coffee shop where you pay five bucks and you can play any of their hundreds of boardgames! they got every version of monopoly I've never heard about as well as jenga, scrabble and tons of other amazing board games! also, their hot chocolate is really good.

My arm STILL hurts...or more specifically, my shoulder. I seemed to have fucked it up at work lifting crates of milk or something, because now pretty much doing anything with my right hand/arm hurts my shoulder. lifting, carrying, reaching for anything or walking for long periods of time hurts A LOT. I went to the doctor last week, she assumed it's just a pull or something. She did give me a prescription for extra strength pain killers and massage therapy, thank god. the pain killers aren't strong enough, especially when I'm at work. I've finally scheduled an appointment for massage therapy so we'll see what happens with that. It's definitely not a pulled muscle - I've experienced that before and usually the pain goes away after a few days - this pain has been haunting me for almost two weeks now and isn't getting any better - being scheduled six days a week and not being able to rest enough doesn't help. So I might go for an ultra sound, because I want to figure out what the hell is going on in my shoulder and if I can fix it- I'll be super bummed if I have to deal with this forever. Thank god I live in canada and have a decent health plan...although it doesn't cover massage therapy, so that sucks.

Either way, I want to get out of working in the food service idustry (Shocking, right?) it's too physically demanding for me (standing for long periods of time, having to put up with asshole customers, having to lift, carry, reach and use my arms a lot...like I'm usually able to get people to help me with that, but I'm getting frustrated with needing to ask people to do stuff for me all the time) I've been applying for jobs as a receptionist, because at the moment that's what i feel would be great for me. I have a little experience already and I can see working as a receptionist helping me to develop more useful skills than making amazing mocha coffees. Also, It'd be nice to not have to wear a uniform that ends up being smelly no matter how many times you wash it.

and finally, the comic:
well the comic books are on there way to my awaiting hands, I'm really excited to see how they turned out. I'm going to try drawing out a comic for this week, although I can't promise it'll look great, but I don't want to completely put the comics on hold 'til I recover, because, well, god knows how long that'll take.

OH AND I'M A UNIVERSITY STUDENT AGAIN! I finished paying off york and I'll be taking back to school starting in january...it's only one course, but i figure it's better than nothing.

So yeah, that's about the just of what's going on at the moment. POST MORE COMMENTS ON MY COMICS!!!