blog archives

22nd Dec 2009, 8:56 PM


The Holiday Spirit

shit it's already tuesday and I'm just doing the blog now...

ok, so first off I apparently need to explain the "this keeps happening" comic strip ( as a reader told me they didn't get it. so my friend Danielle was driving me back to my dorm when we passed by a cat on the side of the driveway. Danielle stopped the car and as you can see, tried to get the cat to come over. the cat walked away. so Danielle continued driving and we got in a silly "argument" over how adorable Danielle is. She hates it when I call her adorable.

there you go.

secondly, the obligatory winter holiday strip ( which I think perfectly portrays my holiday spirit. and my occasional accidental tendency to set things on fire. Yes, I celebrate Hannukah (you can really spell it however the fuck you want) and Christmas. My mom's jewish, my dad's family celebrates christmas. which really just means twice as much rediculous holiday food, family dinners, and usually smaller gifts.

Because I'm not religious, I go for these family events with the "yay-free-food-and-usually-great-gifts" mentality. for a while my dad would tease be about my stubborness to not be religious by saying "happy-winter-solstice-celebration-turned-capitalist-excuse-for-a-holiday". Now I've given up and just say "merry christmas", "happy Chanukah" or "happy Holidays" accordingly.

because York University's dorms don't like having students living there over the holiday break, I'm spending two weeks at my mom's (which greatly inhibits my ability to get laid/go out and have fun on a regular basis). my boss ignored my request for a few more shifts at the coffee shop which means I actually get to spend these two weeks with family (especially my 2-year-old sister who likes to wake me up at 6am), friends from out of town, and my school readings. I also plan to get some comics done for my stash.

for Channukah my Mom got my the dvd "Up" which made me squeel like the fan girl that I am (but usually over Nathan Fillion or Gary Oldman) because it's such a great movie and i love it and it made me laugh my ass off in the theatre (someone actually told me to shut up). for a present, I gave her a discount on my baby sitting services.


Also, I've just joined tumblr (under Outletting) and have found many other tumblr things that i love (like "fuckyeahgaryoldman" and "fuckyeahtwilightsucks")

15th Dec 2009, 9:15 AM


"For His and Her Pleasure" *eye roll*

Libraries used to be a place where I would be focused on studying or writing an essay. Today, I sat in the Library reading webcomics, then took a nap, while procrastinating on a rediculously long take home exam and now the magical power that libraries had over my attention span seems to have been broken.


Seeing as how I'm not getting any work done on this fucking cluster fuck of essays, I might as well do something relatively productive and put up some sort of blog entry.

So I've actually been forcing myself to go to the library to study and write essays, and It's become pretty obvious that the university library is barely a learning environment anymore. Even though there were many signs around saying "quiet please, this is a studying area" in big easy-to-read font, there were many students talking on their cell phones or sitting around and chatting like there were hanging out at a friend's house. what the hell. the other day I even saw a couple making out in plain sight. I know there's that rediculously common excitment about fooling around in the library, but seriously!? when the hell did the library become a place for people to hang out and bring their dates? If you're stuck on campus and want to hang out with your friends, your girlfriend whatever, GO TO THE FUCKING STUDENT CENTER, THEY HAVE COMFIER SEATS! I have enough trouble focusing on my goddamn essays as it is without these idiots crowding the library to sit around and be loud.

but that's not what I wanted to mention:

outside the library, right across from the entrance, there are three vending machines. one for drinks, one for candy, and one, cleverly enough, for school supplies. In the latter vending machine, there are pens, paper, pencils, erasers, blank discs, staples, paperclips, headphones, highlighters --anything you might need during an all nighter at the library. including condoms.


and they're like vibratey and ribbed.

of course, it's not the concept of condoms in a vending machine that makes me react this way as it is a genius idea. It's the fact that someone felt there was such a demand for condoms so close to a university library that they were able to get them put into a vending machine otherwise used for school supplies. and vibrating ribbed condoms no less! this particular library is in Ross Building. Also in Ross Building is some sort of health services office that dispences free condoms. there is also a cornicopia of free condoms up for grabs in various dorm lobbies and common rooms, far away from judgemental eyes. and heck, there is also a convenience store that sells varieties of condoms. and a drug store that sells condoms, and will fill prescriptions for birth control pills.

So really, what is the chance of some kid coming out of the library and saying to themselves
"Yay, I'm done studying, I can now go to the person I'm currently/potentionally having sex with and truly enjoy their company, but oh wait, I seem to be out of condoms and I'm not sure about their abundance of contraceptives. Instead of risking my chance of getting the ol' in-and-out, I'll just pick up some condoms on my way to this potentially enjoyable engagement; However, I do not wish to actually have to talk or even make eye contact with a human that could witness me acquiring this miracle invention, so I will go to the vending machine that I usually get my pencils from. Oh, lookit that, they have condoms that are ribbed, and oh joy, they vibrate as well! I best be on my merry way, it seems I am up for a very enjoyable time! I've never even heard of this brand before, but I'm sure they wouldn't sell it unless it were trust worthy."

or for fuck's sake, at least get a better brand.

I met with a TA of mine today to discuss some assignments I should've done better with, and I realized that if I want to get my Phd, I need to switch over into the english program. luckily, the professional writing program and the english program are very similar so it won't be too much of a hassle, but it made me reconsider whether or not I want/am fit to become a university professor like I'm hoping. As much as I know stuff like this is good for me, I hate getting into the mood of doubting myself and questioning my future and whether or not I'll be able to carve out a pleasant place for myself in society. It's a very slippery slope, you see.

Right now, all I want is to be done with my finals and get a good night's sleep.

8th Dec 2009, 4:39 AM


dear snow, I hope you get peed on.

Fucking essays.


1st Dec 2009, 3:00 AM



So I somehow during my introduction to the world of booze the weekend before last, I caught a cold. Just a cough and fucked up nose, with the added bonus of a weird voice. at first I just started to sound like Tom Waits after a week of cigarettes and whiskey, but it increased to the point where I could barely talk, and if so couldn't really get any range beyond monotone. this was kinda fun at first when I made two girls who wouldn't stop talking during a lecture jump in their seats when i turned around to tell them to be quiet and sounded quite more satanic than I'd intended. But when I went to work this past weekend and talking to customers became more of a chore than usual, it makes me wish my voice would just go back to normal.

Are we lonely by nature? or is it the modern condition, something we've projected onto ourselves? I'm starting to realize that the decisions I'm making and the person I'm becoming are far different from what I used to be. that who I am and what I'm doing, sometimes, shouldn't be held up in comparison to others and their opinions or ideas of what's normal. in every situation I've been in that I can remember, I've felt lonely. Is it just because I haven't found "that special someone" who's going to "rock my world" and make all my problems go away, or is it just the way I am? part of me doesn't believe it's possible for a person to "rock my world", make all my issues go away, all that idealistic romantic crap. another part of me would like to, but has difficulty maintaining whatever belief i can summon up. I have difficulty believing that one person could actualy change another; I do believe that we are responsible for our behavior and that people don't need to depend on someone else to make them happy. of course, we all look to others for validation every now and then, but I don't believe that we need to. I believe people shouldn't depend on other people for solutions, but should be capable of self-reliance. We should be able to be comfortable with ourselves and not look to others to complete us, to give us an identity. Sure, friends, family and peers will reinforce our identity and maybe add on to it, but we should be able to stand on our own.

30th Nov 2009, 8:10 PM


Wilted Flower

here's some "real writing" that I did recently:

Wilted Flower

You poor flower, I’m so sorry.
I plucked you and tucked you in my pocket
now you’ve wilted.
You were so vibrant when I spotted you among the rest
I couldn’t help but stop and stare
so bright, colourful and full of life.
And now I keep forgetting about you, tucked in my pocket.
Reminded when I brush my hands across you
while looking for my keys.
I should have left you among the bushes,
where I admired you, safely, from a distance.
But I felt compelled to take you for my own,
although I can’t say why.
I can’t take any pleasure from you like this.
I plucked you and tucked you in my pocket
and now, you’ve wilted, while my attention wanders.