blog archives

15th Dec 2009, 9:15 AM


"For His and Her Pleasure" *eye roll*

Libraries used to be a place where I would be focused on studying or writing an essay. Today, I sat in the Library reading webcomics, then took a nap, while procrastinating on a rediculously long take home exam and now the magical power that libraries had over my attention span seems to have been broken.


Seeing as how I'm not getting any work done on this fucking cluster fuck of essays, I might as well do something relatively productive and put up some sort of blog entry.

So I've actually been forcing myself to go to the library to study and write essays, and It's become pretty obvious that the university library is barely a learning environment anymore. Even though there were many signs around saying "quiet please, this is a studying area" in big easy-to-read font, there were many students talking on their cell phones or sitting around and chatting like there were hanging out at a friend's house. what the hell. the other day I even saw a couple making out in plain sight. I know there's that rediculously common excitment about fooling around in the library, but seriously!? when the hell did the library become a place for people to hang out and bring their dates? If you're stuck on campus and want to hang out with your friends, your girlfriend whatever, GO TO THE FUCKING STUDENT CENTER, THEY HAVE COMFIER SEATS! I have enough trouble focusing on my goddamn essays as it is without these idiots crowding the library to sit around and be loud.

but that's not what I wanted to mention:

outside the library, right across from the entrance, there are three vending machines. one for drinks, one for candy, and one, cleverly enough, for school supplies. In the latter vending machine, there are pens, paper, pencils, erasers, blank discs, staples, paperclips, headphones, highlighters --anything you might need during an all nighter at the library. including condoms.


and they're like vibratey and ribbed.

of course, it's not the concept of condoms in a vending machine that makes me react this way as it is a genius idea. It's the fact that someone felt there was such a demand for condoms so close to a university library that they were able to get them put into a vending machine otherwise used for school supplies. and vibrating ribbed condoms no less! this particular library is in Ross Building. Also in Ross Building is some sort of health services office that dispences free condoms. there is also a cornicopia of free condoms up for grabs in various dorm lobbies and common rooms, far away from judgemental eyes. and heck, there is also a convenience store that sells varieties of condoms. and a drug store that sells condoms, and will fill prescriptions for birth control pills.

So really, what is the chance of some kid coming out of the library and saying to themselves
"Yay, I'm done studying, I can now go to the person I'm currently/potentionally having sex with and truly enjoy their company, but oh wait, I seem to be out of condoms and I'm not sure about their abundance of contraceptives. Instead of risking my chance of getting the ol' in-and-out, I'll just pick up some condoms on my way to this potentially enjoyable engagement; However, I do not wish to actually have to talk or even make eye contact with a human that could witness me acquiring this miracle invention, so I will go to the vending machine that I usually get my pencils from. Oh, lookit that, they have condoms that are ribbed, and oh joy, they vibrate as well! I best be on my merry way, it seems I am up for a very enjoyable time! I've never even heard of this brand before, but I'm sure they wouldn't sell it unless it were trust worthy."

or for fuck's sake, at least get a better brand.

I met with a TA of mine today to discuss some assignments I should've done better with, and I realized that if I want to get my Phd, I need to switch over into the english program. luckily, the professional writing program and the english program are very similar so it won't be too much of a hassle, but it made me reconsider whether or not I want/am fit to become a university professor like I'm hoping. As much as I know stuff like this is good for me, I hate getting into the mood of doubting myself and questioning my future and whether or not I'll be able to carve out a pleasant place for myself in society. It's a very slippery slope, you see.

Right now, all I want is to be done with my finals and get a good night's sleep.

8th Dec 2009, 4:39 AM


dear snow, I hope you get peed on.

Fucking essays.


1st Dec 2009, 3:00 AM



So I somehow during my introduction to the world of booze the weekend before last, I caught a cold. Just a cough and fucked up nose, with the added bonus of a weird voice. at first I just started to sound like Tom Waits after a week of cigarettes and whiskey, but it increased to the point where I could barely talk, and if so couldn't really get any range beyond monotone. this was kinda fun at first when I made two girls who wouldn't stop talking during a lecture jump in their seats when i turned around to tell them to be quiet and sounded quite more satanic than I'd intended. But when I went to work this past weekend and talking to customers became more of a chore than usual, it makes me wish my voice would just go back to normal.

Are we lonely by nature? or is it the modern condition, something we've projected onto ourselves? I'm starting to realize that the decisions I'm making and the person I'm becoming are far different from what I used to be. that who I am and what I'm doing, sometimes, shouldn't be held up in comparison to others and their opinions or ideas of what's normal. in every situation I've been in that I can remember, I've felt lonely. Is it just because I haven't found "that special someone" who's going to "rock my world" and make all my problems go away, or is it just the way I am? part of me doesn't believe it's possible for a person to "rock my world", make all my issues go away, all that idealistic romantic crap. another part of me would like to, but has difficulty maintaining whatever belief i can summon up. I have difficulty believing that one person could actualy change another; I do believe that we are responsible for our behavior and that people don't need to depend on someone else to make them happy. of course, we all look to others for validation every now and then, but I don't believe that we need to. I believe people shouldn't depend on other people for solutions, but should be capable of self-reliance. We should be able to be comfortable with ourselves and not look to others to complete us, to give us an identity. Sure, friends, family and peers will reinforce our identity and maybe add on to it, but we should be able to stand on our own.

30th Nov 2009, 8:10 PM


Wilted Flower

here's some "real writing" that I did recently:

Wilted Flower

You poor flower, I’m so sorry.
I plucked you and tucked you in my pocket
now you’ve wilted.
You were so vibrant when I spotted you among the rest
I couldn’t help but stop and stare
so bright, colourful and full of life.
And now I keep forgetting about you, tucked in my pocket.
Reminded when I brush my hands across you
while looking for my keys.
I should have left you among the bushes,
where I admired you, safely, from a distance.
But I felt compelled to take you for my own,
although I can’t say why.
I can’t take any pleasure from you like this.
I plucked you and tucked you in my pocket
and now, you’ve wilted, while my attention wanders.

23rd Nov 2009, 11:47 PM


I'm no Lush

Since I turned 19 last wednesday, there were a few people taking dibs on getting me drunk over the weekend.

friday night two friends and I went to the Annex to see Lacuna Coil play a surprise show that would wrap up their tour. the show itself was amazing, those italians can reall rock out. my friends had me start off my drinking career with a rum&coke, which I ended up chugging it because they were complaining about how long it was taking me to drink it as I was sipping away. unfortunately, almost every guy at that show was either old (like gross old) or clearly would be living in his parents basment for a long time to come. 

we then went over to the Hard Rock Cafe. my two friends (they're russian and are experts with booze compared to me) were trying to decide what to make me drink when the waiter showed up. I told him i'd recently turned 19 and he asked for my ID and i giddily showed it to him. my one friend decided she'd start us off with a round of tequila. Now, i've heard bad things about tequila. I asked the waiter to bring me some coke along with the tequila because i knew i'd need to wash out my mouth even after the lemon. my friends instructed me on the right way to drink tequila and after I had downed the shot, i did my typical "ew-ew-oh-god-ew" face with my hands flapping and everything, so distracted by the taste that I forgot to bite on the lemon and my friend had to guide my hand that was holding the lemon to my mouth. i think washed it all  down with some coke and when our waiter came back he told me how he could see my "oh-god-ew-alcohol" face from across the restaurant. i then decided to follow it up with a sex on the beach as it was a pretty classic choice. another friend of mine joined us and we continued to drink. I finished off with this raspberry-lemonade-rum thing which was seriously yummy as there were raspberries and lemons in the glass which were great to eat.

as I stood up to leave the restaurant I stumbled and I realized that getting home would be fun. a few steps outside the door I fell right on the sidewalk, I think i'd gotten messed up by the tricky curb. then I had some trouble with the revolving doors at the Eaton center (I just found out that my friends had been holding the door with their feet to keep it from moving as I was struggling to move the door. after a few more silly moments, I got in an argument with a guy on the bus (one friend couldn't stop laughing, the other was trying to get me to shut up) as he decided to get me talking about twilight. it was brought to our attention that we were arguing in front of a lawyer, and when the guy cracked a laywers-steal-souls joke, I corrected him by informing him about Succubi.
him: "a what?"
me: "A succubi...a succ-u-bi...a suck-u-bye...they're women who seduce men and steal their souls!"
him: "Oh yeah, I've met a few of those, they didn't suck out my soul though"
me: "prolly cuz you were bad in bed"
him: "ha ha, well they sucked something alright"
me: "prolly cuz they felt sorry for you"

my poor friend who had been stuck with baby-sitting duty wanted to kill me, but got me home safely instead. unfortunately no one hid my cell phone from me and I may have kept one or two people up 'til 4 am with some drunken text messages. 

the next night my dad took me out drinking and I thought that since i got rediculously drunk off of 4 drinks on friday that I would only have 1, maybe 2. I ended up having 8. 2 rum&cokes, 2 porn stars, 3 S&Ms, and a gulp of some apricot beer that tasted AWFUL. the S&M is a drink that the bartender, Marie, made up for me. it's peach schapps, banana liquer, melon liquer, and blue curacao, poured in that order which makes it look SOOOO pretty you're almost afraid to drink it. when you do drink it, it hits you like a brick wall but it has a great aftertaste. We combined our names and seeing as how we both had "Marie" in our names we decided to call it an S&M. an acquiatence of my dad bought all three of us two rounds of S&Ms. I tried to tell him about my bus argument but accidentally said "I had this argument with this bus on a guy" and we couldn't stop laughing.

heh, heh i just told a friend of mine "try S&M at least once, it's a hard hit but then it feels sooooo good"

I won't be able to put up the comic strips I drew about last weekend yet, so I'm going to put up something from my stash. this one isn't drawn from a personal experience, but from my standard threat of "I'm going to beat you with a chainsaw!" which I've said a few times to friends.