blog archives

1st Dec 2009, 3:00 AM



So I somehow during my introduction to the world of booze the weekend before last, I caught a cold. Just a cough and fucked up nose, with the added bonus of a weird voice. at first I just started to sound like Tom Waits after a week of cigarettes and whiskey, but it increased to the point where I could barely talk, and if so couldn't really get any range beyond monotone. this was kinda fun at first when I made two girls who wouldn't stop talking during a lecture jump in their seats when i turned around to tell them to be quiet and sounded quite more satanic than I'd intended. But when I went to work this past weekend and talking to customers became more of a chore than usual, it makes me wish my voice would just go back to normal.

Are we lonely by nature? or is it the modern condition, something we've projected onto ourselves? I'm starting to realize that the decisions I'm making and the person I'm becoming are far different from what I used to be. that who I am and what I'm doing, sometimes, shouldn't be held up in comparison to others and their opinions or ideas of what's normal. in every situation I've been in that I can remember, I've felt lonely. Is it just because I haven't found "that special someone" who's going to "rock my world" and make all my problems go away, or is it just the way I am? part of me doesn't believe it's possible for a person to "rock my world", make all my issues go away, all that idealistic romantic crap. another part of me would like to, but has difficulty maintaining whatever belief i can summon up. I have difficulty believing that one person could actualy change another; I do believe that we are responsible for our behavior and that people don't need to depend on someone else to make them happy. of course, we all look to others for validation every now and then, but I don't believe that we need to. I believe people shouldn't depend on other people for solutions, but should be capable of self-reliance. We should be able to be comfortable with ourselves and not look to others to complete us, to give us an identity. Sure, friends, family and peers will reinforce our identity and maybe add on to it, but we should be able to stand on our own.

30th Nov 2009, 8:10 PM


Wilted Flower

here's some "real writing" that I did recently:

Wilted Flower

You poor flower, I’m so sorry.
I plucked you and tucked you in my pocket
now you’ve wilted.
You were so vibrant when I spotted you among the rest
I couldn’t help but stop and stare
so bright, colourful and full of life.
And now I keep forgetting about you, tucked in my pocket.
Reminded when I brush my hands across you
while looking for my keys.
I should have left you among the bushes,
where I admired you, safely, from a distance.
But I felt compelled to take you for my own,
although I can’t say why.
I can’t take any pleasure from you like this.
I plucked you and tucked you in my pocket
and now, you’ve wilted, while my attention wanders.

23rd Nov 2009, 11:47 PM


I'm no Lush

Since I turned 19 last wednesday, there were a few people taking dibs on getting me drunk over the weekend.

friday night two friends and I went to the Annex to see Lacuna Coil play a surprise show that would wrap up their tour. the show itself was amazing, those italians can reall rock out. my friends had me start off my drinking career with a rum&coke, which I ended up chugging it because they were complaining about how long it was taking me to drink it as I was sipping away. unfortunately, almost every guy at that show was either old (like gross old) or clearly would be living in his parents basment for a long time to come. 

we then went over to the Hard Rock Cafe. my two friends (they're russian and are experts with booze compared to me) were trying to decide what to make me drink when the waiter showed up. I told him i'd recently turned 19 and he asked for my ID and i giddily showed it to him. my one friend decided she'd start us off with a round of tequila. Now, i've heard bad things about tequila. I asked the waiter to bring me some coke along with the tequila because i knew i'd need to wash out my mouth even after the lemon. my friends instructed me on the right way to drink tequila and after I had downed the shot, i did my typical "ew-ew-oh-god-ew" face with my hands flapping and everything, so distracted by the taste that I forgot to bite on the lemon and my friend had to guide my hand that was holding the lemon to my mouth. i think washed it all  down with some coke and when our waiter came back he told me how he could see my "oh-god-ew-alcohol" face from across the restaurant. i then decided to follow it up with a sex on the beach as it was a pretty classic choice. another friend of mine joined us and we continued to drink. I finished off with this raspberry-lemonade-rum thing which was seriously yummy as there were raspberries and lemons in the glass which were great to eat.

as I stood up to leave the restaurant I stumbled and I realized that getting home would be fun. a few steps outside the door I fell right on the sidewalk, I think i'd gotten messed up by the tricky curb. then I had some trouble with the revolving doors at the Eaton center (I just found out that my friends had been holding the door with their feet to keep it from moving as I was struggling to move the door. after a few more silly moments, I got in an argument with a guy on the bus (one friend couldn't stop laughing, the other was trying to get me to shut up) as he decided to get me talking about twilight. it was brought to our attention that we were arguing in front of a lawyer, and when the guy cracked a laywers-steal-souls joke, I corrected him by informing him about Succubi.
him: "a what?"
me: "A succubi...a succ-u-bi...a suck-u-bye...they're women who seduce men and steal their souls!"
him: "Oh yeah, I've met a few of those, they didn't suck out my soul though"
me: "prolly cuz you were bad in bed"
him: "ha ha, well they sucked something alright"
me: "prolly cuz they felt sorry for you"

my poor friend who had been stuck with baby-sitting duty wanted to kill me, but got me home safely instead. unfortunately no one hid my cell phone from me and I may have kept one or two people up 'til 4 am with some drunken text messages. 

the next night my dad took me out drinking and I thought that since i got rediculously drunk off of 4 drinks on friday that I would only have 1, maybe 2. I ended up having 8. 2 rum&cokes, 2 porn stars, 3 S&Ms, and a gulp of some apricot beer that tasted AWFUL. the S&M is a drink that the bartender, Marie, made up for me. it's peach schapps, banana liquer, melon liquer, and blue curacao, poured in that order which makes it look SOOOO pretty you're almost afraid to drink it. when you do drink it, it hits you like a brick wall but it has a great aftertaste. We combined our names and seeing as how we both had "Marie" in our names we decided to call it an S&M. an acquiatence of my dad bought all three of us two rounds of S&Ms. I tried to tell him about my bus argument but accidentally said "I had this argument with this bus on a guy" and we couldn't stop laughing.

heh, heh i just told a friend of mine "try S&M at least once, it's a hard hit but then it feels sooooo good"

I won't be able to put up the comic strips I drew about last weekend yet, so I'm going to put up something from my stash. this one isn't drawn from a personal experience, but from my standard threat of "I'm going to beat you with a chainsaw!" which I've said a few times to friends.

16th Nov 2009, 10:52 PM


Hot for Teacher

This comic is based on a little exchange that happened during a class with some friends. I immediately knew that I had to make it into a comic and put it up.

I know I'm not the only university kid who "suffers" from Professorophilia, which if you can't figure it out for yourself, is when a person is usually attracted to Teachers/Professors and sometimes even Teaching Assistants. The attraction is rarely based upon the actual attractiveness of the Teacher/Professor/TA but mainly based on their position of authority over the professorphile and their teaching style or charisma in the classroom/lecture hall. It's more common among young women as many of them have experienced a definite lack of a male role model or male authoritative role (father figure) in their developmental stages. So, of course, having a [charismatic] male in an authoritative role over them, being placed as the patriarch over them and their classmates will replace the fathers these students didn't have. Depending on the relationship the professorphile has with their father, the attraction is usually just manifested as a "school-girl-crush", but can sometimes become quite extreme. My proffesorphilia is quite acute, usually just silly little crushes that just have me paying more attention in class (or at least trying to), but not really wanting to do anything about it.
Sometimes the fantasies are better.

In high school there were endless jokes made about me and my supposed relations with teachers and older men. none of which were true and were made on mere speculations. One of my friends was quite proud of a joke he made when he jokingly asked "when the cum, is it powder?" and before I could hit him he added "heh, heh, Baby Powder!"

12th Nov 2009, 11:42 PM


Bomb Threats are Boring

Seeing as it's midterm season here at the windy northern reaches of York U, there have been many false-alarm Bomb Threats. So that lazy students can shirk their tests, at least for a little while. I experienced the surprising boredom of a Bomb Threat on the tuesday of last week. I was on my way to a tutorial in Vari Hall when I noticed that there were a lot of cops. I also noticed that these cops weren't letting anyone into Vari Hall. So I stood around the crowd trying to find out what was going on, and heard murmers of "It's a Bomb Threat" and since the police weren't saying anything other than "Go Away" I assumed that it was a Bomb Threat.

A shitload of York's population and I were standing/sitting/waiting around on the commons for a while. We still weren't completely sure what was going on, and the cops weren't breaking their vow of "go away"s. Finally it was revealed that the evacuation would take two hours. My tutorial ended in half and hour, but I kindof wanted to wait around and see if there would be an explosion of some sort, even though I knew it was a false alarm. I finally got bored of sitting around waiting for something to happen, and my butt was getting cold from the wet grass. I was able to get one of the cops I'd been ogling to talk to me and was informed that I was allowed to go back to my dorm room as long as I didn't go through Vari Hall, but went around. As I was walking back to my dorm room I realized that the other half of campus had no idea that there was a bomb threat going on, and if so they didn't really seem to care. I talked about it with my floor's Don and a floormate for a little while in the kitchen but we didn't know much so the conversation was short lived.

The next day in my Grammar and Proofreading lecture (it's three hours long and starts at 8:30am every wednesday morning. urgh) my amazing professor complained about the Bomb Threat and told us that if you leave a suspicious package behind in a Bomb Threat, it will take an hour or so longer, otherwise it only takes about 45 minutes for the sniffing dogs to be sent through. Hence this week's comic strip. He also told us about the numerous bomb threats that took place during one of the exam periods last year, all of which suspisciously coincided with a certain economics exam. I was really put off that bomb threats were being misused so greatly for silly students. just the concept of a Bomb Threat make me feel that it's one of those things that shouldn't be made so casual. fire alarms, sure. those things haven't been taken seriously in for-fucking-ever. But Bomb Threats? I never wanted to hear "Oh, It's just a bomb threat, whatever".

Now I have great respect for the Professor featured in the comic strip, and even though I've never seen any man willingly pose like that I couldn't resist drawing him in such a flamboyant pose (I use this word carefully and not to imply homosexuality). As I mentioned earlier, the course is focused on Grammar and Proofreading, yet I look forward to the lecture (8:30am every wednesday morning) because of how entertaining my professor is, for lack of a better word. I'm sure he'll pop up in the comic a few more times, But I think this is all I'm going to write about him because I have this weird paranoia that he'll come across this site and I'm sure I've made enough of an ass of myself infront of that man.

I meant to have the blog up earlier this week, but after I'd finished typing it up in my Film Studies lecture, I accidentally deleted it all and had to start again. I wasn't in a rush until a friend/reader told me that he didn't get this week's strip and I realized that without the back story it didn't quite make sense. so here it is.

Also, this weeks lessons include:
1. I can't survive a long/bad day without caffiene.
2. I can't draw a comic strip while intoxicated.
3. I can't do much that I can show off while intoxicated.
4. Baudelaire is the shit.

check out Baudelaire's "The Flowers of Evil" along with the youtube video of Jacques Brel singing Amsterdam. These have been rocking my socks all day.