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23rd Nov 2009, 11:47 PM


I'm no Lush

Since I turned 19 last wednesday, there were a few people taking dibs on getting me drunk over the weekend.

friday night two friends and I went to the Annex to see Lacuna Coil play a surprise show that would wrap up their tour. the show itself was amazing, those italians can reall rock out. my friends had me start off my drinking career with a rum&coke, which I ended up chugging it because they were complaining about how long it was taking me to drink it as I was sipping away. unfortunately, almost every guy at that show was either old (like gross old) or clearly would be living in his parents basment for a long time to come. 

we then went over to the Hard Rock Cafe. my two friends (they're russian and are experts with booze compared to me) were trying to decide what to make me drink when the waiter showed up. I told him i'd recently turned 19 and he asked for my ID and i giddily showed it to him. my one friend decided she'd start us off with a round of tequila. Now, i've heard bad things about tequila. I asked the waiter to bring me some coke along with the tequila because i knew i'd need to wash out my mouth even after the lemon. my friends instructed me on the right way to drink tequila and after I had downed the shot, i did my typical "ew-ew-oh-god-ew" face with my hands flapping and everything, so distracted by the taste that I forgot to bite on the lemon and my friend had to guide my hand that was holding the lemon to my mouth. i think washed it all  down with some coke and when our waiter came back he told me how he could see my "oh-god-ew-alcohol" face from across the restaurant. i then decided to follow it up with a sex on the beach as it was a pretty classic choice. another friend of mine joined us and we continued to drink. I finished off with this raspberry-lemonade-rum thing which was seriously yummy as there were raspberries and lemons in the glass which were great to eat.

as I stood up to leave the restaurant I stumbled and I realized that getting home would be fun. a few steps outside the door I fell right on the sidewalk, I think i'd gotten messed up by the tricky curb. then I had some trouble with the revolving doors at the Eaton center (I just found out that my friends had been holding the door with their feet to keep it from moving as I was struggling to move the door. after a few more silly moments, I got in an argument with a guy on the bus (one friend couldn't stop laughing, the other was trying to get me to shut up) as he decided to get me talking about twilight. it was brought to our attention that we were arguing in front of a lawyer, and when the guy cracked a laywers-steal-souls joke, I corrected him by informing him about Succubi.
him: "a what?"
me: "A succubi...a succ-u-bi...a suck-u-bye...they're women who seduce men and steal their souls!"
him: "Oh yeah, I've met a few of those, they didn't suck out my soul though"
me: "prolly cuz you were bad in bed"
him: "ha ha, well they sucked something alright"
me: "prolly cuz they felt sorry for you"

my poor friend who had been stuck with baby-sitting duty wanted to kill me, but got me home safely instead. unfortunately no one hid my cell phone from me and I may have kept one or two people up 'til 4 am with some drunken text messages. 

the next night my dad took me out drinking and I thought that since i got rediculously drunk off of 4 drinks on friday that I would only have 1, maybe 2. I ended up having 8. 2 rum&cokes, 2 porn stars, 3 S&Ms, and a gulp of some apricot beer that tasted AWFUL. the S&M is a drink that the bartender, Marie, made up for me. it's peach schapps, banana liquer, melon liquer, and blue curacao, poured in that order which makes it look SOOOO pretty you're almost afraid to drink it. when you do drink it, it hits you like a brick wall but it has a great aftertaste. We combined our names and seeing as how we both had "Marie" in our names we decided to call it an S&M. an acquiatence of my dad bought all three of us two rounds of S&Ms. I tried to tell him about my bus argument but accidentally said "I had this argument with this bus on a guy" and we couldn't stop laughing.

heh, heh i just told a friend of mine "try S&M at least once, it's a hard hit but then it feels sooooo good"

I won't be able to put up the comic strips I drew about last weekend yet, so I'm going to put up something from my stash. this one isn't drawn from a personal experience, but from my standard threat of "I'm going to beat you with a chainsaw!" which I've said a few times to friends.

16th Nov 2009, 10:52 PM


Hot for Teacher

This comic is based on a little exchange that happened during a class with some friends. I immediately knew that I had to make it into a comic and put it up.

I know I'm not the only university kid who "suffers" from Professorophilia, which if you can't figure it out for yourself, is when a person is usually attracted to Teachers/Professors and sometimes even Teaching Assistants. The attraction is rarely based upon the actual attractiveness of the Teacher/Professor/TA but mainly based on their position of authority over the professorphile and their teaching style or charisma in the classroom/lecture hall. It's more common among young women as many of them have experienced a definite lack of a male role model or male authoritative role (father figure) in their developmental stages. So, of course, having a [charismatic] male in an authoritative role over them, being placed as the patriarch over them and their classmates will replace the fathers these students didn't have. Depending on the relationship the professorphile has with their father, the attraction is usually just manifested as a "school-girl-crush", but can sometimes become quite extreme. My proffesorphilia is quite acute, usually just silly little crushes that just have me paying more attention in class (or at least trying to), but not really wanting to do anything about it.
Sometimes the fantasies are better.

In high school there were endless jokes made about me and my supposed relations with teachers and older men. none of which were true and were made on mere speculations. One of my friends was quite proud of a joke he made when he jokingly asked "when the cum, is it powder?" and before I could hit him he added "heh, heh, Baby Powder!"

12th Nov 2009, 11:42 PM


Bomb Threats are Boring

Seeing as it's midterm season here at the windy northern reaches of York U, there have been many false-alarm Bomb Threats. So that lazy students can shirk their tests, at least for a little while. I experienced the surprising boredom of a Bomb Threat on the tuesday of last week. I was on my way to a tutorial in Vari Hall when I noticed that there were a lot of cops. I also noticed that these cops weren't letting anyone into Vari Hall. So I stood around the crowd trying to find out what was going on, and heard murmers of "It's a Bomb Threat" and since the police weren't saying anything other than "Go Away" I assumed that it was a Bomb Threat.

A shitload of York's population and I were standing/sitting/waiting around on the commons for a while. We still weren't completely sure what was going on, and the cops weren't breaking their vow of "go away"s. Finally it was revealed that the evacuation would take two hours. My tutorial ended in half and hour, but I kindof wanted to wait around and see if there would be an explosion of some sort, even though I knew it was a false alarm. I finally got bored of sitting around waiting for something to happen, and my butt was getting cold from the wet grass. I was able to get one of the cops I'd been ogling to talk to me and was informed that I was allowed to go back to my dorm room as long as I didn't go through Vari Hall, but went around. As I was walking back to my dorm room I realized that the other half of campus had no idea that there was a bomb threat going on, and if so they didn't really seem to care. I talked about it with my floor's Don and a floormate for a little while in the kitchen but we didn't know much so the conversation was short lived.

The next day in my Grammar and Proofreading lecture (it's three hours long and starts at 8:30am every wednesday morning. urgh) my amazing professor complained about the Bomb Threat and told us that if you leave a suspicious package behind in a Bomb Threat, it will take an hour or so longer, otherwise it only takes about 45 minutes for the sniffing dogs to be sent through. Hence this week's comic strip. He also told us about the numerous bomb threats that took place during one of the exam periods last year, all of which suspisciously coincided with a certain economics exam. I was really put off that bomb threats were being misused so greatly for silly students. just the concept of a Bomb Threat make me feel that it's one of those things that shouldn't be made so casual. fire alarms, sure. those things haven't been taken seriously in for-fucking-ever. But Bomb Threats? I never wanted to hear "Oh, It's just a bomb threat, whatever".

Now I have great respect for the Professor featured in the comic strip, and even though I've never seen any man willingly pose like that I couldn't resist drawing him in such a flamboyant pose (I use this word carefully and not to imply homosexuality). As I mentioned earlier, the course is focused on Grammar and Proofreading, yet I look forward to the lecture (8:30am every wednesday morning) because of how entertaining my professor is, for lack of a better word. I'm sure he'll pop up in the comic a few more times, But I think this is all I'm going to write about him because I have this weird paranoia that he'll come across this site and I'm sure I've made enough of an ass of myself infront of that man.

I meant to have the blog up earlier this week, but after I'd finished typing it up in my Film Studies lecture, I accidentally deleted it all and had to start again. I wasn't in a rush until a friend/reader told me that he didn't get this week's strip and I realized that without the back story it didn't quite make sense. so here it is.

Also, this weeks lessons include:
1. I can't survive a long/bad day without caffiene.
2. I can't draw a comic strip while intoxicated.
3. I can't do much that I can show off while intoxicated.
4. Baudelaire is the shit.

check out Baudelaire's "The Flowers of Evil" along with the youtube video of Jacques Brel singing Amsterdam. These have been rocking my socks all day.

2nd Nov 2009, 4:38 AM


Porno Salad

ah, Halloween. Unfortunately I was stuck working at the Coffee shop, so I didn't get to have nearly as much fun as i usually do on halloween but I did take my pleasure from a few moements of the night. At one point to young boys (about 12 or 13) showed up in their "costumes" (one had some mask, the other had slapped a few NASA stickers onto his coat and was wearing ill-fitting sweat pants). so they come in, and because the front of the store is like 90% glass I saw them walk up and I assume the position: raised eyebrow, hand on hip, other hand leaning slighty on the counter. Preparing for sarcasm. they walk in, grinning their baby-faced asses off.
Boys: Trick or Treat!
Me: Trick.
"astronaught": treat?
Me: Trick.
"astronaught": treat?
Me: Trick.
"astronuaght": ...can we have treats?
Me: *looking at donut shelves* if you pay for them, sure.
"astronaught": *looking at friend* let's try Tim Hortons.

Dumbasses. I'm not giving out free food, especially to a bunch of dorks in half-assed costumes.

My Dad and his girlfriend Dawn picked me up from work and we hung out for a bit, Dawn gave me two socks filled with candy, the socks were orange with black cats on them. screw Chanukah, Halloween is our christmas.

I'm currently drawing out a comic strip on what not to do in bed (based on a very recent experience) which will most likely be up soon.

oh, and if you were wondering, this weekend's comic strip took place last year when I visited my friend Sarah at Guelph for Halloween. Sarah, 2 school friends of hers, and I went out to collect food for less fortunate people. Sarah and one of her friends dressed up as Red fish and Blue fish from the Dr.Suess book while her other friend dressed up as a Cat. I had to bus in right after class and used an entire case of silver eyeshadow to make a last minute comstume. I was a Homeless Robot.

26th Oct 2009, 7:18 PM


Back to the Grind

The Bruises are almost completely faded, I can sit down comfortably again, and I now have a better Idea of what it is I do/don't like.

I'm at the front lines of the Midterm struggle and have slipped into the calm accepting mindset of how fucked I am. I have three assignments due within the next two days, none of which are past the outline stage. I have a few tests scattered out over the next few weeks along with piles of reading.

luckily, however, all my midterm craziness is over right before my birthday so that I won't feel guilty when I go out on friday night and for the first time ever legally order booze from a bar and strive to enjoy this new privilage as much as possible.

This year I have to miss out on my favourite holiday of all time (Halloween, duhr) because I'm scheduled to work Halloween night and I can't afford to take that night off of work. And even if I did take that night off of work, I would be obligated to spend it studying or catching up on school work instead of going out and having fun while dressed up as Talahassee from Zombieland (I'd add a box of twinkies to the costume).

One night last week I decided to try to get some essaying done in the common room of my dorm because it's a less distracting atmosphere than my bedroom. while watching Buffy and occasionally glancing over at the empty microsoft word document, It was brought to my attention that some people were playing with an Ouiji board. Eventally the Ouiji board was brought into the common room and it turned out to be the lid of a pizza box with letters and numbers scrawled on with pencil, accompanied by a glass mug. A guy who was very entusiastic over his lil ouiji board tried to convince me to try to summon spirits with him. I laughed him off and told him about the 5 page essay I had yet to start. I told him to try and talk to Cthulhu though, of course he had no idea who I was talking about so I told him to look it up. Him and a few girls set up the Ouiji board next to me and me we all had a good laugh as he attempted to summon some chatty spirits. He ended up taking the board over to Stong residence because they seem to have better spirital reception there.
god bless his heart.