blog archives

28th Sep 2009, 6:11 AM


leaving bruises in my wake

so I'm beginning my fourth week of my second year at York U tomorrow and i can't express how much i'm loving it. i'm only working two days a week, i have a kitchen this year along with a single room and i've actually made a few new friends on campus/in classes.

I'm tits deep in reading, but that was expected. I love my profs and tutorial leaders and only have a school lust for 2 of them. my film studies TA is australian, i love her accent and she's so cool *girlie squeel!*

I haven't gotten much done in the term of writing, but I've done a lot of thinking and I think I've figure out a lot.

In relation to the comic, I've seen Inglorious Basterds twice (once because someone else paid for my ticket, [Thank you, Farty!]) and LOVED it. for a Tarantino film, it didn't feel like it. there were the usual signatures of his work (unnecessary dialogue, samuel L. Jackson and Harvey Keitel randomly showing up in small roles, etc.) but it was a great film. at times it felt kind of long, but i still loved it. especially Christoph Waltz who played Col. Hans Landa. I've never seen this actor before (that i can remember of course) but i absolutely LOVED his preformance. his acting in this movie was amazing and i just loved the character (even though I want to punch him in the face for being such a douchebag at the same time as being so charismatic). definately one of my favourite parts of the film (even outshined Brad Pitt, although i liked his "I've been chewed out before" quote).

otherwise...some news that feels big to me.

for the first time ever, I've had a guy write a poem for me. i dont want to say too much and jinx myself (when you have the luck and experience i've had with guys, you can't help but be supersticious about things). I was complaining about going to work this "morning" (i didnt wake up 'til noon), and when i got home we were talking on msn and i was telling him how shitty my shift had been and he said that he knew i didnt want to go to work today and that he thought he would try to make my day when i got home so he wrote me this:

Another day at work has passed,

Like a temporal pain in the ass,

But thank God it's not biology class!

Every now and then,

Think of big ben,

But avoid creepy old men!

Ignore the clock and focus,

But don't forget to smile,

Because you're beautiful.

to give due credit, it's from a guy named Rich.

this is kind of a big deal for me as i've never had anybody do anything "romantic" for me, much less write something just for me. the closest thing to a romantic gesture i've had was when i was unbelievably sick in dorm, called up my current fuck-buddy and convinced him to come over and he made me Mr.Noodle in the microwave (he served it on a pizza box), he played on his DS while telling me to sleep, had sex with me in the co-ed bathroom shower, and helped me pack my bag to send me to my parent's house (taking care to make sure i had the right underwear). as we were waiting for my stepdad to pick me up he put his transformers toque on my head because i was cold and we made jokes about the possibility of him humping my leg forever if i got a transformers tattoo.
these are the most romantic things that've happened to me so far.

i still feel shocked when guys show any interest in me, even if it's just for sex. yay for ugly-duckling syndrome?

some music y'all should check out:
Dr. Hook - You make my pants want to get up and dance (if this song/video doesnt make you smile, you're a heartless robot)
Cold War Kids - expensive tastes, hang me up to dry, we used to vacation
The Raconteurs - Old Enough, Level, Steady as she Goes
Tegan and Sara - walking with a ghost, back in your head 

oh: and last but not least: i've applied to Nerd Girl Pin Ups to be a Pin Up girl. We'll see how that goes...I've already got some ideas for a photo shoot or two...I love the concept of their site.

i need sleep.

12th Sep 2009, 9:46 PM


let the fun begin

I have moved into a new dorm room :) a single dorm room :)

in a old building...that's elevator is slow...and only stops every other floor...and not on my floor. you can imagine how much fun it was to move my stuff in there.

apparently "single room" means "really fucking small room" seeing as how there's no way to comfortably fit more than one person unless they're engaged in certain activities, and even then there's not much room.

also, i have a HUGE window (which is nice) that faces a tree that covers all of the window  (very nice), but squirrels watch me sleep.

adjustment to campus life was swift and easy, but my dorm room is fucking far away from the bus stop which is loads of fun when trying to bring home groceries. urgh.

i had a really funny dirty old man customer today whose expected "flirting" didn't bother me so much because he was at least funny.

not a whole lot to update as you can see.

7th Sep 2009, 6:18 AM


I need Minions

does this really warrant an explanation?

i'm moving onto campus after a grueling 3 months of living at my mom's. never again.

seriously, can't wait to be able to bring guys back to my place again.

31st Aug 2009, 6:29 PM


FanExpo, another disapointment

hey. so, FanExpo this year sucked a lot more than I had expected it to.

because of certain transportation set backs, i didn't show up there until about 1pm. I was hoping to get there at noon at the latest. but whatever, you know? it runs 'til like 5-6pm. so me and my friend who I've dragged along to come show up, finally, and see a HUGE line. it was for people who didn't have tickets. my friend didn't have a ticket. I did have a ticket. we got in line and I decided to be nice and wait with him because, after all, I was the one who had dragged him there and it'd be rude to send him home or to ditch him in line. So we're standing in line, surrounded by loud children (what the hell are babies and toddlers doing at Fanexpo? are there no babysitters?) and people in crazy outfits (yeah, maybe being draped in velvet from head to toe on a sunny day wasn't a good idea). the line is long and slow, but it is moving at a surprising speed (i was expecting it to not move). soon a few volunteers from the Expo came out and told us that it would be a two hour -ish wait...apparently the main floor was at maximum capacity and they had shut the doors. they'd open them again in half and hour or so and then start selling tickets again. grr. so we waited. and waited. and i sat on the curb in the shade and had a very interesting discussion with a five year old girl, as you can see from the most recent strip. and then we waited some more.

finally we got in and got his fucking ticket. as soon as i got to the main floor, i called the illustrious Dr. Holocaust, found him, and attacked him with a hug that left my ear sore and his lungs collapsed. He's my favourite Villain...within the GTA. I gots a Picture too XD then i rushed into the dealers room and headed straight for the Least I Could Do booth and bought two shirts after nearly twisting an ankle to get to the front (huzzah for 5 inch platform heels!) and enjoying some witty banter with one of the booth peoples. I then saw a temple of T-Shirts and bought two Serenity shirts which i didn't realize until after the expo are practically identical. luckily I'm enough of a fan girl to not care. i walked around the floor and decided to do the memory test: i would look at all the stuff i wanted to buy, and which ever i still remembered to come back for after my trip to the ATM, would win my attentions. of course when i went to the ATM, they were either out of cash or had a long line up and broke by the time i got close to them. the closest (supposedly working) ATM at that point was across the street and I'd been on my feet in those crazy 5 inch platform boots for 4 hours so, yeah...fuck that shit. none of the vendors who had a debit machine were able to (or were unwilling) to do cashback. so i collapsed against a column by the exit and admired costumes/tried not to notice the unknowingly-visible underwear of some cosplayers.

i got in line for the masquerade (which i was really only going to because I wanted to see Dr. Holocaust preform his act in person and hopefully get some good footage with my camera) i had a decent spot in line and when i got to the doors they said i had the wrong ticket. now i had bought my ticket online a week or so in advance and i specifically got the Delux ticket that cost an extra $25 from the basic ticket and the only difference between the two was the delux ticket was supposed to get you into the Masquerade. the people at the door told me that i was supposed to go to the Masquerade Information booth to get another ticket that would get me into the Masquerade. Now this was the first time I was hearing this, and even online when i bought my ticket i read no such thing that said i had to get ANOTHER ticket to get into the fucking masquerade. they had me stand to the side with about 50 or more other people who were in the same dilemma, saying they would let us in after the people with the proper tickets took their seats. I didn't pay $25 to sit at the back, or godforbid, to have to stand in the back. i was pissed. i can see crappy video footage of the masquerade on youtube, i wanted a good vantage point of the stage. luckily when i was finally let in, the auditorium was only half-filled but i still got a shittier seat than i would have if i had been able to go in when/where my spot in line had allowed me. there was one guy in particular at the door who was really apolegetic and explained that someone had fucked up with the advertising of the event. unfortunately for him, fan girls and boys can be fucking whiney sometimes. the real kicker was that this masquerade information booth had been empty and unattended for at least 2 hours before the show started. so i took my seat, enjoyed the show as much as i could (some contestants were amazing, some were fucking awful and boring). I stuck around until Dr.Holocaust and his crew got on stage but then had to bugger off. and head home. My feet are gradually healing.

It could have been a lot worse, but it also could have been way better. It should have been better planned, especially the masquerade part. and seriously, are working ATMs so much to ask for? people want to spend a shit-ton of money at your event, make sure that the ATMs will be functioning throughout!

and yes, I will be redrawing and editing the strip hopefully tonight.


24th Aug 2009, 5:09 AM


I had a Dream...

hey you :)

so I'd rather not get into the specifics of this webcomic, but i think it's sufficient to say that it's based on this dream i had a bit ago. i've never actually done that in real life and i don't really plan to either.

enough of that then.

so the other day while i at work i was taking my break and sat down to eat my dinner and read. i happened to sit close to one of the televisions that's mounted on the wall and is stuck of CP24 all day. at some point during my break i randomly looked up and saw this commercial for cancer. ok, that sounds wrong - but you know what i mean, it was the commercial with all these people holding up cards saying stuff like "i was given months to live, 4 years ago" or "cancer took my leg but not my life", etc. anyways, i was watching this (i was plugged into my ipod so i missed out on the soundtrack) and suddenly noticed that i was about to get teary eyed. i immediately dove back into my book (the taqwacores by micheal muhammad knight, quite amazing) and shuffled through my playlist to find something distracting. but i was distracted nevertheless. i started to wonder why a fucking commercial about fighting cancer had affected me, then i realized - because i've lost so many people to cancer. aduhr. first my step father's dad Chaim. then my father's dad Bruce, then my dad's step father Albie. my mom's had a number of pre-cancerous cells removed and almost a year ago i had my own little cancer scare (i have a lump on my forarm the size of a skittle that turned out to not be dangerous at all). I wasn't really upset when my grandfathers died from cancer, even though I should've been. they were all relatively young (under the age of 80) and i didn't know any of them as well as i should've. I didn't go to see any of them before they died for various reasons, but mainly because I didn't want to see them in that condition, i wanted to keep them alive in my memory as "young" and healthy...i didn't want to see them in their deteriorated state. i was only really able to explain this to my mother in any of the situations. I only cried over one of them, Bruce. He's the only blood-related grandfather of mine that i have any memories of (my mother's father died when i was a toddler)  and I barely knew the guy. I actually instinctively refer to him as "Bruce" rather than "Granpa" for the fact that his relationship with me never really felt like a grandfather's to me...not that i would know what that's supposed to feel like. we shared a few conversations and i have a christmas gift from him (a book on Beatrix potter, although he hadn't known that she was my favourite author as a child) but I don't really know him.

I think the main reason why I cried at his funeral was because i was suddenly being thrown into this situation that I wasn't ready for - his death was pretty sudden (the weekend i was supposed to come up to visit him (for the last time) was the weekend that his funeral was held). it was the first time i'd ever been to a non-jewish funeral and I had no idea how things worked there - i was surrounded by all these people i was supposed to know, that i was related to and supposedly had ties to, and didn't even recognize most of them. all these people were saying these great things about this man that I come from, and i wasn't able to call bullshit on them. I couldn't tell if they were saying all these great things about him because it was his funeral or because they were true. also, for lack of a better option, i was stuck wearing a pair of vibrant pink pantyhose amongst all my black attire. it was frustrating to say the least. I was actually suprised that I was the days leading up to the funeral i was expected to be one of the only people with dry eyes and to be feeling guilty about it later, i felt like i was being expected to drudge up all these feelings for a man i didn't know and that i wouldn't be able to and that people would be offended. then, there i was, balling my eyes out in a fucking church. even on the car ride to the cemetary i was struggling to control myself. I was grateful that my dad, his girlfriend and my brother weren't drawing any attention to it. after a bit the emotions died down and i was able to reflect on things. I'm still not that upset by my grandfather's death, but a part of me does wish i'd known him better in life. another part of me simply says: that's what people do, they die...especially older sick ones.

so after these thoughts on death from cancer, and the many people in my life who've been touched by cancer, i wonder why smoking isn't a bigger deal to me. when people point out "oh you shouldn't eat/smoke/use/etc. that, it causes cancer" i usually reply with "yeah, apparently everything does".
my mother's mother's boyfriend is dying of cancer, after a life of chain smoking, yet I still smoke the herbal cigarettes that i've been craving since i was 15 years old. (only during the summer and barely at that, one pack will last me at least a month - but still...) I don't get pissy with my dad when i find cigarettes at his apartment, or when his girlfriend and their friends light up in front of me. even when people tell me they smoke i don't get all preachy on their asses about how bad it is for your health (especially since that'd make me a hypocrite). and i honestly wonder why do i not find smoking such a big deal? when i find out someone has cancer why is my response usually in the area of "ah shit"? the only explaination i can come up with is that life is "short" (compared to other things) and we all die eventually...cancer is just one of the ways to go out and if you're going to die anyways, why not allow yourself simple pleasures you enjoy, like smoking a cigarette every now and then? I'm still grateful for all the medical advances in the fight against cancer, but i still don't get that upset about it. i wonder if i'm so detached from it just because no one i'm very close to has died from cancer, that people have survived battles with cancer before so it's not always a death sentence or if it's because I'm a cold hearted bitch. I'm kinda thinking it's the first two. either way, death is still a big scary unknown mind-fuck that i haven't the energy to try to tackle just yet.

on a brighter note, i'm going to be attending Fanexpo this year on Saturday August 29th. because my crazy-goth boots are just collecting dust in my closet, i've decided to pull them out along with my neglected corset to wear at the Fanexpo. I rarely get the chance to wear that sort of garb and not feel like a freak, so i'm taking my chance and will be decking out in my crazy clothes next weekend.i'm hoping to get lots of pictures with cool people.